cemeteries

I had the occasion to visit a relative’s grave in Munich. He was the first husband of my aunt on my father’s side. He had three kids, and as long as I knew him, he was a kind person. Everybody would mention him in a good sense, and they were all very sad when he passed away.

I don’t really remember him that much. The only thing that I remember about him is how he used to wish me a happy birthday on Facebook when I was little. I remember that he would write to my page every year. That was very kind of him.

And on that day, I was with my father, my uncle and my cousin who is the son of this relative. It was a very intense moment. He was a German man, so he had crosses on his grave. But since my father is Muslim, he prayed for him with Islamic prayers. I lit a candle for him, placed it on his grave and wished him a nice, peaceful rest.

Death really exists, and it’s very scary. But at the same time, it is what makes life so irresistible to live. That’s how we, the ones left behind, understand how important life is.

We’ve all heard stories about how important it is to live an honourable life and to be remembered as a good person, even after the inevitable death. It has some truth to it, but sometimes our fixation on death will trick us into thinking that we have to do good all the time, with no mistakes. That is, in no way, the case.

Humans are… complex creatures with complex brains and complex feelings. There isn’t such a thing as a purely good or bad person, because we are all the things that we do in life, as Jean-Paul Sartre would agree. But there will always be some sort of complexity when it comes to being a good person, like, for whom?

It is nearly impossible to be a good person for everyone. We have to make mistakes to learn from them and become better. We are not robots, so yeah, we are going to make mistakes as well. But…